I realize that harping on the weather for being mediocre is both played out and whiny, but I can’t help being disappointed by the lack of sunshiney days thus far this spring. I love a good thunderstorm as much as (probably more than) the next person, but sunshine feeds my emotions, glowing down on me and nourishing my body, mind and spirit. Alas, this spring has been nearly devoid of the good stuff- those luxurious afternoons that allow me to lounge outside in a Muskoka chair and bask in the sunshine.
Consequently, I’ve been nourishing myself in other ways. Which, coming from where I do, is quite an accomplishment in and of itself. I’ve been fortunate enough to land a plum job that allows me to choose both my hours and my working location, and I’ve been reveling in the spontaneity that this affords my summer life. Yes, I just said “reveling” and “spontaneity” in the same sentence… stunning, I know. For someone who used to “enjoy” having every second of my day planned out, not doing so is a revelation. There was a time when the freedom would have led me to a very unhealthy place, but I’m happy to report that thoughts of engaging in eating disordered behaviour have been far from my mind this springy season, despite the doom and gloom.
Spring, for me, really marks my freedom from the hell that was my eating disorder, whether it presents itself in sunshiney skies or rain clouds. Spring was the season of my decline into turmoil, and spring is the season of my real break from the ED demons, after months of treatment. Spring is my birthday season, so it only seems fitting that it should also represent, to me, another kind of “rebirth”, as corny as that may sound.
Rain or shine, my self-nourishment and growth continues, this spring. And for that I am nothing but grateful.