Mirrors.

Mirrors are fickle friends. Sometimes, if you gaze into the glassy reflection, a true vision can be seen, and the mirror speaks truth. Other times, some strange distorted monster stares back, not what you had imagined at all. Not how you felt at all.

Today the looking glass is being a backstabber. Today, my inner critic is gazing into the glass, and pointing out flaws. Maybe it isn’t the mirror at all that is in the wrong, but the critic within. Perhaps it is some latent anxiety about meeting new people that is waiting on the other side of the magic mirror. Maybe it has nothing to do with what I see at all, but the way I feel- physically, mentally, emotionally. Emotions, it would seem, are actually in control of the mirror.

All that considered, maybe the mirror is not a fickle friend but a weapon. Weilded by the inner critic, the ED voice, low self-esteem- call it what you will- the mirror becomes dangerous, threatening to wreack havoc on a seemingly normal day. In the hands of Mr. Hyde, the weapon becomes dangerous, waxes terrifying.

The difference between “now and then”, is the power of the mirror. For all that the weapon can be effective in lowering my mood, in making me uncomfortable, in invading my thoughts, it cannot win entirely. Counter to each painful blow dealt by the reflection is a reality. The reality that I am doing what is right for my body. The reality that no matter what I eat, wear or do, the image in the mirror will reflect only what I feel inside at a given moment. The reality that what looks monstrous today might look happy and normal tomorrow. The reality that no matter how strong the inner critic might seem as it waves its reflective weapon above its head, I am stronger.

Mirrors aren’t really fickle friends. They are simply inanimate objects, with no real pull over what I choose to do.

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One Response to Mirrors.

  1. Jennifer Cantlon says:

    You’ve come a long way baby!

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