Fear is all consuming, especially when you’re one who is prone to ruminating over the littlest details. Right now, I’m consumed by fear over so many things. I know that these are things that I need to do, a means to an end. But knowledge does not, contrary to popular belief, make the fear go away. If you walk into a haunted house knowing that monsters don’t exist, you’ll likely still scream. If you watch a horror movie and are sure beyond all doubts that the story is fabricated, you might still have nightmares that shake you to your core. No, knowledge is not the antidote to fear. Fear is more irrational than that- a free radical, obeying no rules.
I know it would be strange if I was not afraid. I know that fear and nerves are emotions that piggyback the challenges I’m about to face. I know that eventually, the fear will go away. I’m not comfortable feeling the fear, though. Comfortable is sticking to the usual, not stepping out of the box, and, ultimately, spiralling further out of control. The more entrenched in the false “comfort” I become, the harder it is to emerge. So, the fear, though uncomfortable, is necessary. Bring it on.