I am honest. Sometimes to a fault, I seem unable to be dishonest, to lie. Even a little white lie feels like a great weight on my conscience- so much so that I avoid telling lies at all costs. Particularly with regard to myself, to my inner thoughts, I tend to “overshare” rather than omit things. I’m not sure how, exactly, others take my tendancy to share every minute detail for fear of omitting some vital piece of information, but I know that it sometimes annoys me. I wish, sometimes, that I didn’t feel obligated to divulge details of my life to acquaintances, but I have done this and will likely do so again. Heck, even having a blog represents my inner expressiveness- I’m willing to be frank and open up about things that I struggle with every day.
Its not out of self-deprecation that I share my struggles with others, nor am I fishing for compliments. I feel that it is important to be truthful when someone asks you how you are doing, or how things are going. If I’m having a bad day, you’ll know it. I’d like to exercise a bit more discretion in my sharing, and I’ve learned from experience that sometimes its better to simply smile and say “fine” when the cashier asks how your day is going. At times, honesty has gotten me in over my head, forcing me into awkward situations where I become uncomfortable. For, although I am honest, I tire quickly of conversations that revolve around my struggles. I can go from zero to completely triggered in five minutes. So, it is important that I then use my honesty to my advantage and exit the conversation as gracefully as possible, admitting to my lapse in judgement.
Honesty has both helped me and hindered me in the past. I’m not so sure that people are used to complete truths, as most are known to make omissions and little white lies a part of everyday life. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie if it truly doesn’t hurt anyone. No one really needs to know exactly what I did today, what I ate for lunch and the contents of my handbag. I’d like one day to find a happy medium between honesty and the overshare, and I’m working on it. But for now, I’m putting myself out there, truth be told.